Autobiography / LGBTQ

We Have Always Been Here

(A Queer Muslim Memoir)

Author: Samra Habib

Average Rating:   4.13 / 5

Trigger Warnings:

How do you find a place to belong when the world doesn’t acknowledge that you exist?

The safety and security to be herself is a luxury that Samra Habib was unfamiliar with. Even growing up among other Muslims in Pakistan, Samra learned at a young age to be cautious. Belonging to the small sect of Ahmadi Muslims, there were Islamic extremists who believed that her family were blasphemers and would threaten their safety if discovered. Encouraged by her parents, the necessity of hiding her identity was strongly ingrained.

Emigrating to Canada as refugees brought a brand new collection of struggles as Samra had to deal with racism from fellow students, looming poverty, and an arranged marriage that her new friends would never understand. Pulled between her Pakistani upbringing and her new modern, liberated Canadian home, Samra’s need for a safe space to figure out who she was and wanted to be was becoming more and more desperate. The men in her family wanted to control her, and the women knew nothing except the obedience that was expected of them; how could they even dream of more for her?

Drawing on courage that was born out of desperation, Samra begins her exploration of faith, love, family vs found family, and queer sexuality. Impossible to imagine when she was younger, her search takes her across the globe, introducing her to people from all walks of life.  But more importantly, she discovers a scattered community of queer Muslims and finds a way to prove to them and the world that they are not alone, and they have always been there. 

Corinna: 4/5 

I enjoyed learning about Samra’s journey, and because this memoir is so personal, I find it hard to rate. My rating mostly comes from my wanting to know more details. Samra did a fantastic job of letting us see inside the Ahmadi Muslim community, her early life and her evolution as a refugee. But I found near the end, when she was delving in her queer identity and how it impacted her life, it felt more like a list of events with little expansion or explanation. All her fears of self-discovery, confronting her parents, conflicts with her immediate society, feel like they are just mentioned and then resolved, without much exploration. I don’t know if this was an intentional choice, but it created a lack of tension that I found frustrating, as I am sure that her actual experiences were not as abrupt. Samra is brave for sharing her story and dedicating her journalism to telling the stories of others like her. I hope this memoir emboldens those like Samra to have confidence in showing the world who they are and gives them comfort in knowing they are not alone.

Lydia: 4/5 

This book is incredibly hard to rate – there were so many amazing and eye opening moments but then there were moments that I felt were mentioned but not expanded on. I wanted to feel the nitty gritty deep, dark and oftentimes scary truths that come with moving to Canada as a refugee and then coming out as part of the LGBTQ community. 

I found it incredibly interesting that this book started with Samra as a soft spoken and scared woman and then ended with her being so brave and free. I felt that we were on a journey with Samra and were able to see how situations happened and how she navigated her relationships through her eyes. 

While it may not have been what I expected, I still greatly appreciated Habib’s writing and bravery in sharing her story with the world. It was definitely worth the read.

Megan: 5/5

Habib has a very powerful story, and I was glad that it was chosen as one of our book club books for 2022. Her story about coming to terms with being queer, reconciling that with her faith, and then having the courage to come out to her parents is one that I’m sure many people, probably more than we know, are struggling with. She wrote about finding the freedom to be her authentic self and being able to remove the masks and facades that are so easy to hide behind. I found her writing to be very engaging and how she shared her story flowed quite well. When I was reading this book, I could not put it down. Sometimes with true stories, the stories themselves can be incredible, but the writing doesn’t always reflect that. Thankfully that was not the case for this one. Habib had many sentences and phrases that really hit home, about being brave, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and giving yourself permission to be who you truly are. I would highly recommend this book; regardless of what you may believe or are going through, there are elements of this story that can resonate with anyone.

Sharaya: 3.5/5

Wow. Read this book. As a Canadian, born and raised, I found the insight into Habib’s experience as an immigrant to Canada to be eye-opening and heart breaking. There is so much value to be had in learning about her culture and upbringing, her experiences as she came to terms with her sexual orientation and what that meant for her Muslim faith. Her passion to bring together a subsection of the queer community (those with muslim faith) was inspiring. And regardless of your personal background, I think anyone could relate to her feelings of being alone, as well as find comfort in her experiences with found family and community. Habib does a great job of exploring these tough concepts, and I found the more philosophical sections of the book to be very thought-provoking and worthy of further rumination. 

There are a few reasons why I didn’t rate this book higher. The first is that there were a lot of storylines or details that it felt like Habib glossed over.  She’d throw out random, passing comments, that I wish were expanded upon.  And while I understand that it probably had to do with her comfort level, she’s a journalist who has made a name for herself by telling her story.  Why throw in the comment if you’re not going to explain it? I also found some of the characters difficult to get a handle on, as they were often described in conflicting ways from one section to the next. Also, and perhaps this was her intention, but this book was not written for the non-queer-non-muslim reader.  Terminology, cultural components like food or clothing, religious aspects, etc. were never explained. I had to look up a lot of things. Regardless, I would highly recommend that you give this book a try.

To access a printable list of 10 book club questions, please click here.